By Jamie Dexter, MCSO PIO

Officials with the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office last week offered an up-close and personal look of the Montgomery County Jail’s resident zombie, lovingly referred to as “Nibbles.”

Deputy Joshua Dewberry, who has been tasked with keeping an eye on Nibbles to prevent infection in the rest of the jail, said the resident zombie is just misunderstood.

“Nibbles was booked in on his original charges long ago. So long ago that we don’t have any record of who he was, originally, or what he was in for,” Dewberry said, scratching at a red patch of skin on his arm. “We do know that his… condition… wasn’t present before he was housed with us. He’s actually really easy to get along with, and a great listener.”

Assistant Chief Deputy Douglas Tackett said he can’t even remember how Nibbles came to be.

“Rumors are that he managed to steal extra portions of what inmates used to refer to as our ‘green bologna,’ long-since discontinued,” Tackett said. “But, it’s our duty to house inmates until they are legally released, so he has sort of become part of the MCSO family.”

Sheriff John Fuson wants to emphasize to taxpayers that there’s no extra cost for housing Nibbles, and measures are always being taken to prevent his condition from spreading.

“He doesn’t require meals. Or even showers, which is unfortunate for Deputy Dewberry,” Fuson said. “The only thing he needs, and it’s mainly to keep him calm, is continuous play of Kenny G.”

We reached out to national medical professionals to assess the contagiousness of Nibbles.

Dr. Acula, with the Center for Disease Destruction, said there are rare cases like that of Nibbles condition across the country.

“We’ve found that the condition is only transferrable by a bite,” Acula said. “We aren’t seeing large numbers here, so the disease is rather easy to avoid.”

Unfortunately, Deputy Dewberry couldn’t be reached, this week, for an update on how Nibbles is doing. After obtaining his final shift reports before he disappeared, we’ve found eerie and incoherent information.

“Fever gone, but itchy,” Dewberry wrote. “Brains and eggs for breakfast. Itchy. Tasty.”