‘People don’t pretend to be depressed, they pretend to be OK’: Preventing youth suicide in Clarksville

CLARKSVILLE, TN (CLARKSVILLE NOW) – Jennifer Mulvey, a teacher and mother of seven, learned far more about suicide than any parent should when she lost two sons: One at age 12 in 2014, and another five years later.

The first death was a sudden shock. But leading up to the second one, she did everything a mother could do. “He was on medication, he was seeing a doctor, and (the mental struggle) was very visible. I don’t think he ever got over losing his brother.”

Joey Smith, Montgomery County Health Department director, told Clarksville Now that suicide prevention starts from childhood.

“Many times the people that die by suicide, they desperately want to live but it’s hard for them to see it could be better,” Smith said.

The state has seen a steady increase in suicides since 2014, among both children and young adults.

In 2019, suicide was the fourth leading cause of death among children ages 1-14 in Tennessee. It was the third leading cause of death in people 15-24. Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network spokesman Morgan Tubbs told Clarksville Now that suicide rates among 10-24-year-olds have been trending up since 2011.

ACEs and suicide

Smith said one key to the problem is in considering ACEs, or adverse childhood experiences. A few examples of ACEs include physical or sexual abuse, a family history of mental illness, substance abuse in the household, and parental divorce.

In the last 12 years, Smith said he said he has seen a strong connection between children who have four or more ACEs and youth suicide.

There are about 34,000 children in Montgomery County and 12-15% of those kids have four or more ACEs, according to Smith. On average, Montgomery County has four to eight teen deaths by suicide each year.

In addition to higher rates of suicide, people with several ACEs are more likely to develop a substance abuse issue, develop a mental illness, or flunk out of high school.

All of that means that recognizing ACEs and addressing them early can be a key to preventing suicide.

Another contributing factor to youth suicide, Tubbs said, is the increase in social media use.

“While we are more connected than ever, via the internet and social media, I think a lot of isolation also comes along with that,” Tubbs said.

Using social media to have conversations about mental health and destigmatizing those ideals is important, however. Tubbs said fostering safe spaces where people feel like they can talk about their struggles is vital.

A parent’s struggle

When Mulvey’s 12-year-old son, Jacob, passed away in 2014, it was a complete shock.

“There are a lot of misconceptions that children that young don’t take their life,” Mulvey said. “With Jacob, it was completely out of the blue.”

He was a normal boy who showed no signs of being suicidal, she said. She remembers him having a corny sense of humor and a love of reading.

“I don’t know what I missed,” Mulvey said. “He was the most laid-back, sweet child.”

Jacob’s death had a ripple effect on the entire family, but especially his brother Aiden, who struggled with bipolar depression.

In 2019, Aiden died by suicide.

“Getting mental healthcare is so hard,” Mulvey said. “Trying to get a bed for a mental health facility is like trying to win the lottery.”

Shortage of therapy options

A woman going by Penny, for the sake of privacy, told Clarksville Now she has struggled to try to find proper care for her daughter, who was a victim of child sex trafficking.

Instead of getting the therapy she needed, her daughter ended up at a mental healthcare facility.

“As a parent, I was so frustrated because I knew that she had a hard life ahead of her based on the trauma that she had experienced, and I wanted her to have the coping skills necessary.”

It’s been a few years since Penny’s daughter was in that hospital, but she said most of the healing she’s done has been self-help.

“Mental healthcare is not one-size-fits-all,” Penny said. “I do like the movement towards self-care and being aware of boundaries … but they are in a situation where they are forced to seek help on their own because mental healthcare is not available to them.”

In Montgomery County, there is one mental health provider for every 500 citizens.

Making mental health a priority

Terrie Williams, executive director of suicide prevention call center Crisis 211, told Clarksville Now she has seen an increase in calls since the isolation created by the COVID-19 pandemic began.

“People don’t pretend to be depressed; they pretend to be OK,” Williams said. “Nowadays, people are so busy on their phones and their texting, and they don’t get a lot of personal contact. They’re isolated.”

Williams has been working in this profession for 32 years.

“A lot of our calls in the last six months (have been) mental health calls. These people aren’t suicidal, but they know something is wrong. They don’t know what it is, they just want to talk to someone,” Williams said.

It’s critical to get past the stigmas that keep people from seeking help, Tubbs said.

“There has been this notion that mental health and physical health are separate, and that having issues with mental health makes a person weak or makes them less worthy, but we would never say the same things about someone who was struggling with their physical health,” Tubbs said.

Tubbs said prevention should start well before someone reaches a breaking point, and it’s important to have conversations about mental health issues.

For more

Here are some resources to help with depression or suicide prevention.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: You can call and speak with a professional if you are having a hard time; the number is 1-800-273-8255.

Meae Wellness: They are located at 211 S. Second St. in Suite 204, and their phone number is 931-431-811. They are an LGBTQ+ friendly organization working to educate people about their options in physical and mental healthcare.

Veterans Crisis Line and Military Crisis Line: National line where veterans and military-affiliated individuals can talk about their mental health confidentially at 1-800-273-8255.

Tennessee Crisis Text Line: State crisis text line. You can text TN to 741741 any time.

Crisis 211: Local call and text line that is open 24/7. You can even call about things non-suicide-related at 931-648-1000.

Tennessee Statewide Crisis Line: Call 855-274-7471 for help with your crisis.

Mental Health Cooperative: The local branch is at 871 Professional Park Drive, open 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. every day. They offer intensive care management, psychiatric services, and counseling services for anyone. You can call them at 931-645-5440.

Centerstone: Centerstone is a not-for-profit organization and offers a multitude of services and programs designed to address a wide range of emotional, behavioral, psychological, and addiction challenges. These services include outpatient counseling, psychiatric care, residential and housing services, specialized care for children and families, addiction recovery programs, and even pharmacy services. They take most insurances, but if someone is unable to pay or does not have insurance, they also have a grant program.

Butterfly Moments: The Tonya Moore Home of Transformation at Butterfly Moments is a special space for meditation, wellness activities, education resources, and creative healing activities for women facing trauma, addiction or mental illness. Learn more at their website.